denver / by Bryan Lackner


i don't know if it was the altitude, or the drive from Montana to Colorado, but my anxiety peaked in Denver. it's difficult to explain what anxiety feels like to me. i guess it's like... imagine your body is one big rubberband ball, and each of those rubberbands is being pulled in a different direction. that unbearable internal friction takes hold of me every now and then. in the midst of it, i was struggling to find our van, and saw a man in his 60's sitting on the sidewalk with his back against a wall, furiously typing on a laptop. he was wearing a plum dress (with matching plum beret), pearl earrings and a pearl necklace. that was nice.

we were performing in the basement of a coffee house that had terribly low ceilings, which i think contributed to my anxiety bout. also, i was very sober. and, well, pot is legal in Colorado, so everyone else i was around was s t o n e d. so i feel like our vibrations were on different levels. once i realized that, the rubberband man in me subsided and i was able to enjoy myself. shit, it was the first time on the tour i freestyled, which felt great. i used to freestyle all the time, and i really want to get back into a regular routine of it. a lot of Baltimore love in the crowd. everyone was super cool, and -- fingers crossed -- that was the end of my anxiety attacks for the tour.

also, shouts to our man parker, painting this boi throughout the night: